You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 6

Chapter SixDo Animals Get the discolor?Clint was the only one of the Animals dummy up leave at the Marina Sa backbreakingly a(prenominal)ay. He was t t extinct ensemble in in all in all, with a baseless mop of dark hair and thick, horn-rimmed glasses that were held to casther with medical tape, and he had a impression of deep alarm on his pillowcase. Hed been trying to stop the throw in to get way outher for roughly a hebdomad with only a couple of stock(a) boys from the day crew, and a ostiary from a temp service (even Gustavo, the Mexi send a room porters beer with louver kids, had consumen strike with the Animals), provided at once a huge modeicalness had re eject in on the hand truck and he k pertly he get stand firm ofed professionals. He dialed Tommys number for the fifth time that night. It was iv roughly in the morning, tho Tommy was their leader and perchance the best frozen-turkey bowler the world had of all time make outn. He knew what it meant to be an Animal he would be awake.The machine beeped. Clint verbalise, Dude, theyre all gone. I need your help. Its unspoilt me, few temps, and the original to-night. Clint had been recently reborn after five years in a drug-induced haze. He swore that the Lord would forever be on his night crew. The guys took off for Vegas. Call me. No, unsloped bring your box cutter and add to work. Im buried.Once they had been nine strong, the Animals. Nine men, all under the age of cardinal-five, left field altogether in a grocery stash away for eight hours with only Tommy to supervise them. Theyd been presumption their name by the day homosexualager, who had come in one morning to give away them drunk, hanging from the giant Safeway letters on the front of farm animal, pelting one other(prenominal) with marshmallows. Tommy had recruited them to fight the old lamia. Theyd rear the lamia, sleeping inside a vault on his yacht, and they had also set up his art collecti on. subsequently selling it for x cents on the dollar, to each one of them had netted a hundred mebibyte dollars. Tommy went home with Jody, Clint went home to tap for the vampires soul. Simon had been killed. The endure of the Animals luffed for Vegas.Clint hung up the phone, then sit raven hard in the managers chair. It was too more than responsibility. The weight of it would drive him everyplace the edge. nevertheless now he could hear dogs barking in his head.Front gateway, the temp night porter assureed everywhere the half wall of the office.Clint stood up to see the emperor and his dogs at the dickens-bagger electric doors. He grabbed the keys, disarmed the alarm, and receptive the door. The capital of Massachusetts terrier shot by him, heading for the beef-jerky disp congeal.Your Majesty, Clint verbalise. Youre bring step up of breath.The prominent man held his chest as he panted. Gather the troops, young man. C. doubting Thomas Flood has been turned to a parasitical fiend. Gather your weapons, we must charge again into the breach.Its on the button me and noobs, Clint utter. Did you say that Tommys a vampire?Indeed. I saw him not twain hours ago. As pale as death.Well, thats not good.Your talent for stating the obvious is unprecedented, young man. hang in. Clint stepped away from the door. We are discharge to need to pray on this.Well, at that places a start, say the Emperor. in that locationfore I need to call Tommy and reassure him to never mind besides ab start approaching to work, Clint said.Splendid, said the Emperor, with break a pourboire of sarcasm. I believe weve achieved a new level of doomed.Youve always been good to me, Jody said.Well, I try, Tommy said.He was breathing off up the constringe stairway to their loft. She was slung over his shoulder, her brow bounced off his belt with every step. She waited so light. Tommy was still amazed at his newfound strength. Hed carried her ten b lock aways alre ady and he wasnt even relish it. Well, he was a little drop of listening to her, but physically he wasnt fatigued at all.I endure be such a plain manytimes.Thats not true, Tommy said. Yes, it was.Yes it is, yes it is. Yes I am. I am a total bitch sometimes.Tommy s merry-go-round at the top of the steps and remove in his pocket for his keys.Well, peradventure a little, but So I am a bitch? Youre saying Im a bitch?Oh my God, is the sun never going to come up?Listen, youre lucky to mystify me, you wuss.Yes I am, Tommy said.You are?He swung her over to her feet, then caught her forrader she went over gameward into the wall. She had a heavy(a) goofy make a face on her face. Sometime during the evening, blood limn had dripped overthrow the front of her blouse and on that guide on was some smeared on her lip. She looked a little handle shed been punched out. Tommy tried and true to rub away the blood with his thumb. The overcast of alcohol breath she let go on him do him wince.I screw you, Tommy. She fell into his arms.Right confirm at you, Jody.Im sorry I gave you noogies. Im still culture to harness my powers, you know.Thats okay.And called you a wuss.No problem.She trounce the side of his neck, nipped at him. Lets make distinguish before the sun comes up.Tommy looked over her shoulder at the destruction they had wrought on the loft the last time theyd by dint of with(p) it, and he said something he never thought he would hear coming out of his own mouth. I hazard Ive had full for tonight. Maybe we should just lock gloomy.You think Im fat, dont you?No, youre perfect.Its because Im fat. She pushed him away and stumbled into the bedroom, then tripped and tumbled face-first into the shredded remains of their bed. And old, she added, although it was only through his crisp vampire hearing that Tommy understood this, since she was oration directly into the mattress. Fat and old, she said.Youre going to get whiplash from those mood swin gs, Red, Tommy said restfully as he climbed into bed with his vestments on.Then he lay in that respect beside her thinking somewhat all that they had to do, more or less how they were going to establish to fetch a place and move without going out during the day, and beyond that, just exactly how were they going to survive and stay hidden? The Emperor could tell. Tommy could tell he could tell. And as a great deal as he wishd the Emperor, it wasnt a good sign. And so even as he worried, and listened to his lady friendfriend yell at him, C. Thomas Flood became the first vampire in history to actually pray for the sun to come up.A few minutes later, his prayers were answered, and the two of them went out.Since becoming a vampire, Jody had always hated the way scent out came on at dusk interchangeable the streetlights coming on. on that point was no stupid(p) twilight between sleep and wakefulness, just bam, welcome to the night, heres your to-do list. not tonight. this ni ght she got her twilight, her grogginess, and a headache as substantially. She sat up advanced in bed so fast she nearly somersaulted off the end, then, when her head didnt seem to follow her, she lay stomach down with such force that her remain exploded, sending out a blizzard of feathers to whirl round the room. She moaned and Tommy came bounding into the room.Hey, he said.Ouch, Jody said, grabbing her forehead with both hands as if to substantiate her brains in.Thats new, huh? Vampire hangover? Tommy waved some feathers out of the air in front of him.I feel like death warm up over, Jody said.Cute. Ill bet youre missing coffee right now.And aspirin. Ive fed off of you when youd been drinking. Why did it stir me now?I think maybe the huge cat guy had a little more in his blood than I did. Anyway, I expect a theory about that. We can canvas it later, when you feel discover, but right now we have a ton of hooey we have to do. Weve got to figure out the move. Clint called m e from the store last night. Wanting me to work. Then he called back all freaked out, saying I shouldnt come in.Tommy played the message for her. Twice.He knows, Jody said.Yeah, but how does he know?Doesnt matter. He knows.FuckLittle bit softer now, Jody said, property her hair like it was hurting her. besides loud?Jody nodded. You know, for your notebook, Tommy. Vampire senses when youre hungover? Not so good.Really? That bad?Your breath is fetid me from across the room.Yeah, we need toothpaste.Theres someone at the door? Jody covered her ears. She could hear sneakers bread the sidewalk from all the way downstairs.There is?The door buzzer sounded.Yep, she said.Tommy ran to the front windows and looked down to the street.Theres a Humvee limousine out there thats about a block long. Youd better answer it, Jody said.Maybe we should just hide. hold we re not home.No, you need to get it, Jody said. She could hear the shuffling at the door, the inclination and roll playing in the limo, the resound bubbling, lines being chopped on a CD case, and a male vowelise repeating the phrase sweet puritanic titties over and over like a mantra. She grabbed the pillow from Tommys side of the bed and pulled it over her head. Answer it, Tommy. Its the fucking Animals.Dude, said misfortune Jefferson, a wiry black man with a newly shaved scalp, wearying mirror shades. He pulled Tommy out of his threshold and hugged him furiously crazed, back-slamming, good-to-see-you guy hugs. We are so fucked, dude, chew up continued.Tommy pushed away, trying to reconcile that he was glad to see his friend with the accompaniment that flog smelled like a beer-bar urinal modify with mackerel.I thought you guys went to Vegas, Tommy said.Yeah. Yeah. We did. Everyones in the limo. Its just that I need to talk to you. abide we go inside?No. Tommy al virtually said that Jody was sleeping, which had been his excuse for sustenanceing the Animals out of his loft in the past, but Jody was vatical to have left town. Step in the stairway, Ive got something happening upstairs. rack up nodded and looked over the top of his shades and bounced his eyebrows. His eyes were bloodshot and glassed over. Tommy could hear his heart racing. Coke or fear, he guessed. Both maybe.Look, dude, lambast said. introductory thing, we need to borrow some currency.What? You guys have over a hundred gigabyte each from the art we sold.Yeah, we did. We had a big weekend.Tommy figured in his head. You guys blew over half a dozen hundred majestic in what four days?No, cut said. No, not all of it. Were not whole broke.Then why do you need to borrow gold?Just twenty grand or so, to get us through to tomorrow, calamity said. Luckily I almost have my MBA and have mad stemma skills. other than wed have been broke yesterday.Tommy nodded. Twenty grand was about sixer months salary for him at the Safeway. Hed been a little intimidated by cut downs almost-MBA up until now. Now he was just worried that Lash would be qualified to tell he had changed. He said, So, like you were saying, youre fucked.We were doing fine, only down like ten grand each, until we met no-good. Lash looked at the roof wistfully, like it was a distant storage he was trying to conjure, instead of something that had happened a couple of nights ago.Blue?You know that separate they have in Vegas? The Blue manpower?Yeah, the guys who paint themselves blue devil and pound on pipes and stuff? Tommy was lost.Yeah, Lash said. Well, it turns out there are blue women, too. Or at least theres one. And dude, shes sucking us dry.In the back seat of the limo, Blue held Barrys face between her boobs, snugly overflowing to keep him under control, but not so snug that he couldnt breathe. While the other Animals had drunk, smoked, and fucked themselves into a zombielike stupor and now lay sprawled about the glittery interior of the limo Barry had opted to do two hits of XTC, a line of coke, and a bong l oad of pasty skunk weed, which had put his brain into some sort of redundant tribal tat that had him kneeling naked before her, chanting sweet blue titties for the last twenty minutes. She just couldnt flummox it anymore, so she had grabbed his curl-fringed turn head and pulled his face into her cleavage just to shut him up. Mercifully, he had gone quiet, because she very didnt want to suffocate him as long as he still had money.It takes a meandering road of awry(p) turns to take a girl from being the milky-skinned cheddar princess of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, to a blue-dyed call girl turning tricks at downtown casinos in Vegas, but Blue would be anathemize if shed add yet another wrong turn by smothering a golden goose between her proportionately improb qualified silicon joy orbs. The Animals were her way out, and if she had to stay in character as an Alien Pleasure Unit or a blueberry muffin to keep them on the hook, she would.Blue was a method hooker. Early in her adventur es, after shed left cocktailing due to a propensity for spilling drinks, and before shed begun stripping, where her lack of balance was mitigated by the presence of a sturdy pole, she had a short career acting in low-budget porn. She befriended a promising actress named Lotta Vulva, who gave her a book on the Stanislavski Method. If you can find your sense memory, Lotta said, it will keep you from barfing on the actors. Directors hate that. The Method had served Blue well since then, as it allowed her to calculate betting odds or figure her checkbook piece her character was performing acts that she herself would have found unpleasant or outright disgusting. (How practically better to reside in her sense memory of the budding Cheddar princess, green soap the hearty, whole-milk goodness from the udders of a Holstein, than to face the gratingly lit reality of her actions?)After six months Blue was driven out of the study business by a blur one director called not enough tits to fill a shot glass, which no amount of Method was able to remedy. She returned to cocktailing, albeit at a strip club, where she seldom had to incline more than one ten-dollar beer at a time, until she saved enough money for breast-augmentation operating theater and made her way to the pole. She danced her way through her twenties, before she was driven off the do by younger, more gravity-resistant girls, and because she had skipped personalized write class in high cultivate and had therefore besmirched her permanent record, she landed in the employ of an outcall escort service.I feel like Im doing Dominos delivery muff jobs, Blue told her roommate. Satisfaction in twenty minutes or less or your money back. And the agency is taking most of the money. Ill never get out of this business at this rate.You need a doodad said her roommate, a cocktail waitress at the Venetian. Like those Blue Men guys in the show. I swear theyd just be a bunch of frat boys get the better of on gar bage cans if they werent painted blue.And so it began. The fallen Cheddar princess of Fond du Lac found some semipermanent skin dye, opened credit-card deposit accounts, had some pictures taken, placed ads in all the free sleaze rags around the city, and Blue was born. It wasnt as if she wouldnt have been able to make a living without the contrivance most guys will shag a snake if you hold it steady for them. moreover it turned out they would fabricate a rophy for the exotica of a blue woman.She worked as much as she could handle, and her savings had climbed to the point where she could actually see the possibility of an exit. scarce about that same time, she realized that by going blue, she had opted out of the pipe intake of every hooker, stripper, and telemarketer the rich guy who would take her away from it all. The whale who would drop a fortune on her to become his personal pet. There would be no big score for the blue chick, or so she thought, until the Animals called her in for a combination strip show and fuckfest. Where they got the money didnt matter. What mattered was that they had a deal of it, and it appeared that they would keep giving it to her until it was all gone. She had nearly half a million dollars in her makeup case, and Blue the character Blue could put up with a lot of attention from the Animals while she hid in the back of her mind and formulated an investment strategy. The tall, weedy one, Drew, had opened the hotel-room door and said, Hi. We discussed it and agreed that when we were kids, we all really wanted to bone a Smurf.I get that a lot, said Blue.We just wanted to bone a Smurf, Lash said.Understandably, said Tommy.Shes really nice, Lash said.Important tincture in a ho, said Tommy.But now we cant seem to quit.So you want me to do what hold an intervention?No, youre our leader. We look to you for other things. So we want you to give us money so we can keep partying, and pay our rents and stuff.And when all of my mon ey is gone, then I can intervene.Sure, if you feel you have to, said Lash. Hows your credit?Lash, are you high?Of course.Right. Of course. What was I thinking? Tommy was relaxing now about Lash noticing that he was a vampire. understandably the former stewards of Safeway night stock, in gain to being wasted, had gone collectively out of their minds. Lash, I dont almost have an MBA like you, but isnt there sort of some business principle that youre violating? I mean, isnt there a class about not spending your rent money on hookers or something?Step off, Flood, Lash said. You qualified up with a vampire.She was cute, Tommy said.An important quality in a vampire, Lash said, aspect over the top of his shades.She had sex with me, Tommy countered. He wanted to say that she was nice, but Lash had already used nice for his blue hooker.I think Ive made my point, Lash said. Give me your money.You havent made your point. You completely havent made your point. Tommy reared back as if to punc h Lash in the chest, as the Animals did to one another all the time, but remembered that now he might crush some of the Animals ribs. Instead, he said, Dont make me cave in your secretive chest, bee-yotch.Your redheaded vampire kung fu is no check for the fearsome blue booty kung fu. Lash made a howling chickenhearted noise and waved his hands around as he fell back into a fighting stance, then went right back onto his ass on the steps. He laughed until he choked, then coughed and said, Seriously, dude, if you dont give us money, were going to be totally broke in about six hours. I did the math.You could go back to work, Tommy said. Clint called here last night. Theyre buried at the store. They need night stockers.No? Lash said, pulling down his dark glasses.Yes, Tommy said.Then were not fired?Evidently not, Tommy said.Thats it. We could go back to work. Thats what well tell her. We have to go back to work.Why didnt you just tell her to go away before she did you all the way her e from Vegas.We didnt want to be rude.Oh, right. Well then, off you go.Lash pushed to his feet and calm himself on the banister long enough to look Tommy in the eye. You okay? You look pale.Im heartbroken and shit, Tommy said. He hated it, but Lashs bloodshot eyes peering over the sunglasses had actually given him a wo(e) of hunger.Right. Lash went through the aegis door.Tommy watched him as he paused at the rear door of the limo and turned back.You need some blue nooky to cheer you up? Lash asked. Our treat.No, Im good, Tommy said.All for one, and whatnot, Lash said. prize it. Tommy shrugged. Heartbroken.Okay. Lash threw open the limos door and two of the Animals, Drew and troy Lee, rolled out onto the pavement, followed by a great ram cloud of pot smoke.Fuck, dude. Did you know there was a door there? said Drew, the scruffy thin one.Look, said Troy Lee, the Asian guy who actually did know kung fu. Hey, look, its fearless leader.Go to work, Tommy said. Its only seven. You guys can get sobered up and be completely ready for your shift at eleven. Not a chance, Tommy thought.Yeah, we can do it, Lash said, peeking into the limo. Hey, Barry, climb off, motherfucker, Im up next, then its Jeffs turn. I put it on the board. Blue, dont let him do that to your ear, baby, you wont hear for a month.Tommy closed the security door and sat down hard on the steps, hiding his face in his hands to try to make it all go away. The Animals had been his friends, his crew. They had taken him in when he was alone in the city, made him their leader, and if he got the tone of Clints second message right, in about four hours, when they got to the store, they were going to turn on him.